My Opinions And Things

I like being stimulated and stretched and also having a good workout. I don't just mean physically but mentally as well. It's why I love good conversation (well arguments), writing, working on problems and - don't you dare groan - chess.

Chess and red wine go together like bread and cheese, male and female or whatever else takes your fancy. If I'm playing with my BoyFriend I also like to have a good sing-a-long CD blaring out as I rally my troops and charge head first into battle. He makes a move and I sing a duet with Shania, "Okay, so you're Kasparov. That don't impress me much ..."

Actually this doesn't really impress the boyfriend (BF) much either. He'd prefer the ticking of the clock as we silently move our pieces, I'm still talking chess here! I can do quiet, that's why I'm into Yoga and meditate most days, but come on now, chess is to be lived. I'm out to flatten his King. It doesn't have to be all stodge and long faces. I tend to shout and whoop as I play and have adventures buzzing around inside my head. It's fantasy time!

If I was a chess piece I'd be the Queen (but would prefer to be called a Princess), she gets all the fun. She can go anywhere, in any direction, and as far as she wants. Powerful? Not half! The King is burdened with responsibility and can't move about much but me, as the Queen, is out having a good time and if I can leap upon a Knight so much the better. "Oh, oh, oh, get in the action - feel the attraction ..."

Not sure if this would be allowed by the World Chess Federation, or comes within the British Chess Code, but it's time for a chess revolution!

I like to play with the board (sixty-four squares, eight rows in each direction) on a low coffee table. BF sits on a chair one side. I sit on the floor opposite with a few cushions so I can fall sideways or backwards depending on how I feel I'm doing. With a glass of red wine next to the board and a few nibbles off we go. "Make a wish - make a move. Make up your mind - you can choose ..."

White goes first.

Each player has sixteen pieces, or men, one set traditionally in black and the other white. The pieces each move in their own special way. There are eight Pawns each. These are the foot soldiers, the least important people, the lot the government don't really care about too much. A bit like old people wanting good health care, the homeless or children living in poverty. So we lose a few ...

Of course, once in a while the Pawn does the unexpected, exceeds expectation, and fights his/her way right across the board and becomes a Queen. Magnificent! Wouldn't it be great if all Pawns had the encouragement and chance to reach the other side? "They said, I bet they'll never make it. But just look at us holding on ..."

If you don't know much about chess I'll leave a list at the end as to how each piece moves, you can then miss it out if you want.

Right, as well as the Pawns, there are two Castles (often called Rooks). These are quite powerful and solid but they really need a fairly empty board to develop their full strength. I've plied them with Viagra but it still takes a while for this to work on them, but once they are roused, wow! They can shoot about in any straight line, right across the board if necessary.

Next come two Bishops. Trust the church to want power over the Pawns. Typical of them. They are so set in their ways they have to stay on the same colour squares they started out on. They can't give a bit, oh no, rules is rules. Trouble with this is they can't move forward, they are always going diagonally. I don't like Bishops much. "If elephants could fly I'd be a little more optimistic ..."

Ahhh! Now the Knights. I quite fancy them. You've no doubt heard that saying about, 'Once a King always a King but once a Knight is enough'. Don't altogether agree with this, but there are two Knights on my side and two to attack as well. So there are quite a few interesting possibilities, don't you think? The Knight is really a bit of a show off. He moves about the board in a most peculiar way, almost like a dance movement. "Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special. Oh-oo-oh you think you're something else ..."

Then there is the King and Queen which I have already mentioned, just one of each, of course, on each side.

The whole idea of the game is to capture the opposing King. When this is achieved it's game over, the battle hs been won. Now there are all sorts of opinions and suggestions about the best way to play chess. There are even what are called classic openings such as the Ruy Lopez, the Giuoco Piano and the Evans Gambit. Guess what though? I don't care a toss about all this. I just play my way and attack, attack, attack.

This means that sometimes I don't win! I don't like this very much but you can't live life, not taking any risks and being oh so careful. "I'd rather die standing than live on my knees, begging please ..."

But when I win, it's great, it's dramatic, it's exciting and, "Man! I feel like a woman!". I whoop and roll about on the floor singing my heart out while BF gets the grumps. If you play chess with someone you can often discover their personality. There's the very careful person who's main aim is not to lose. At the other extreme is the one who just goes for it and doesn't give a damn. On a scale of one to ten BF's about a five. He'll play safe, weigh up the odds and take chances only if things are mathematically in his favour. A typical B.A (Hons), A.C.A. in fact! "Be a winner - be a star. Be happy to be who you are ..."

In think there's a lot of rubbish spouted about chess (and I've no doubt added to it) but it's a great game. It's not difficult to play if you treat it as fun. It doesn't just have to be played by skinny, angular faced men in tweed jackets who have lost the will to smile. It's a game for everyone, forget all the tosh talked about it and just enjoy. "No inhibitions - make no conditions. Get a little outta line ..."

The only tip I'd give is not to hesitate to push home your advantage, when you are sure you have one, by exchanging pieces and so reducing your opponents proportionate strength. As in life we have to sieze our opportunities. Oh yes, and be nice and look after your Pawns, after all they have the potential to become a Queen (Princess/Prince).

If you sometimes think that, "This job's a pain - it's so mundane. It sure don't stimulate my brain ..." Then you need chess!

- Jayne

P.S. The songs are from Shania Twain's CD 'Come On Over'. Apologies for my taste in sing-a-long music. Nevertheless a smacked bottom if you were a spoil sport and didn't join in!

APPENDIX - THE TECHNICAL BIT
Miss this section out if too boring! Yawn!

•How The Pieces Move

King: One square in any direction
Queen: Any number of unoccupied squares in any direction, straight or diagonal
Castle: Any number of unoccupied squares in any direction in a straight line
Bishop: Any number of unoccupied squares in any direction but only diagonally
Knight: One square straight in any direction and then one square diagonally in either direction. A Knight can leap over other pieces.
Pawn: Forward only one square except on first move when can move two squares forward.

•Arrangement Of Chess Pieces On The Board

Each player lines up his/her peices on the back row of the board nearest to him/her. The King & Queen are on the two middle squares of the back row with the Queen on her own colour. Next to the King & Queen is a Bishop, next to the Bishop a Knight, next to the Knight a Castle.

In the second from back row go the eight Pawns.

•Object Of The Game

Move your pieces, each player in turn, to enable you to capture the opposing King. If a player puts the King in danger it is said to be 'in check'. If the King is unable to avoid the danger and so will be captured it is 'checkmate'. i.e. the game is over, the King has fallen.

•To Capture The Opponents Pieces

A chess piece is captured by the opponent occupying the square on which it stands and removing it from the board.

•More Stuff

There is more to Chess (e.g. Castling, Queening a Pawn, Forcing a Draw etc), but there's plenty of info about that will tell you all the rest. This is after all an opinion and the opinion is: 'Chess is fun!'

"From Utah to Texas, Minnesota, Mississippi too
Or Nevada, no matter where you live -
This buzz is for you ..."

Sorry, that's me and Shania singing again!

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Labels: chess

Opinions:
Book - Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
Dove Body Silk - A Silky Body
Mystical - Tarot Cards
Board Game - Taboo

UNLIMITED POWER by Anthony Robbins
So you want it all then? Financial security, personal power, happiness, successful relationships, good sex life plus lots of other things? Yes? Then have I got the book for you! Read 'Unlimited Power' and you'll be like an express train heading towards the land where all your dreams come true.

OK, so I've gone a bit over the top, but this is one of those books that could give you the kick up the backside you may be looking for. So bend over and get reading! Unfortunately though, just reading this book won't achieve anything wondrous in your life. To succeed you'll have to put the principles taught into practice and that takes effort. There's always a snag isn't there?

The guy who wrote this book, Anthony Robbins, claims he went from being an overweight, unhappy bachelor (what a cute word) living in a small apartment to a happy multi-millionaire at only 25, with a loving wife (ahhh) and a castle overlooking the Pacific Ocean - yes he's American!
I can feel that you are itching to know how he did it. From what I can see he made his pile from telling other people how to be succesful! I feel this is cheating a bit. If, say, someone like Richard Branson said he did this, this and this to make his fortune and that if I did this, this and this I'd be as rich as him, I'd listen - even though I'd like him to cut his hair, do something with that beard and stop wearing funny jumpers. But with Mr. Robbins I can't be certain he could have achieved his success in some other business.

This book, a fat 360 pages, is mainly about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and something the author calls 'modeling' - that's his spelling. NLP is quite popular in the world of self improvement. Neuro refers to the brain, Linguistic is language and Programming is the installation of a plan or procedure. It's really programming the brain to make it work effectively. And this brings wealth and happiness you may ask? Well yes, because life is how we look at things. Nothing is real. It's that old example of a bottle being half full or half empty. Same bottle, but you and I may see it differently.

NLP is about taking charge of your life. Robbins claims we can move away from being like Pavlov's dogs responding to stimulus such as trends, advertising, negative messages and so on. Instead we can use our brain properly and choose how we wish to act and behave - and so achieve what we want from life. Sounds reasonable.

Lets look at depression, for example, that should cheer us all up! According to our main man you don't 'catch' depression you create it like everything else in your life. If you want to feel depressed (hopefully you don't) it helps if you collapse your shoulders and look down a lot. Speaking in a sad sounding tone of voice and thinking the worst possible scenarios also helps. If you mix this with poor diet, alcohol and maybe drugs you'll assist your body in creating low blood sugar and thus virtually guarantee depression. Hope you've followed that! Now if you want to change, what do you need to do? I'm not going to tell you, you'll have to read the book! Well come on now, this opinion will probably be too long as it is and I can't condense 200,000 words into twenty or thirty. I'll just say that you have to alter the way you think, the pictures you create in your head and your body posture.

If it's possible to make ourselves feel depressed the good news is that we can also make ourselves feel happy and can achieve exciting things. What do we have to do? Just get them brains working and feed in the right images. Actually I disagree a bit as I think it is the mind that we have to control, as the mind works the brain, but what do I know compared to a multi-millionaire and a real nice guy!

If we look at the success strategy that Tony (a bit familiar, but I feel I know him now) suggests, it partly revolves round that word I mentioned earlier - 'modeling'. Now Americans like using fancy words to describe something to make it sound special and different, there's a lot of this in the book, but I would replace the word modeling with copying. You have to copy what others have done before.

As T ( well he is quite a cute T) says, "The movers and shakers of the world are often professional modelers (copiers) - people who have mastered the art of learning everything they can by following other people's experience rather than their own." In other words if you can think, act and so on like someone else you can duplicate their success. Personally I'm off to buy a stick on beard, some big teeth and I'm going to begin to think like a Virgin! Hope my boyfriend won't mind.

So you are ready to programme your brain, use the right body posture, copy someone else but what do you have to do first? You've got to decide what it is you actually want from life, that's what. This is quite difficult, but you've got to be brave and get it all down on paper. To help T tells us to think along the lines of, "If you knew you wouldn't fail what would you do?" This is to free our mind of limitations. Many of us think we can't do something because of lots of negative thoughts we have accepted over the years.

How do we get rid of all of these limiting thoughts? By replacing the pictures in our brain/mind/head with positive pictures.

The pictures of how we think things are can be manipuated. We can look at them and make them darker or smaller until they fade away and replace them with new brighter, bigger positive pictures. This book will tell you how.

Unlimited Power will also tell you about communication, rapport, persuasion, how to overcome phobias and a lot more besides. All of this is designed to turn you into one dynamic package ready to conquer your world.

I found it all very interesting but I have read several similar books and so I knew what to expect. There's a lot of strange words bandied about that aren't really necessary. There's a lot of syntax, submodalities, sensory acuity, eye scanning patterns throughout the pages. He's also into 'Optimum Performance Technologies' by which he really means the best way of doing something. This makes reading sometimes a little heavy and occasionally I had to do a double take to see what the guy was on about.

Nevertheless the principles laid out in the book will make many readers think differently about what they can achieve in life. After the final page they should be able to:

• Duplicate the success of others
• Create instant rapport with anyone
• Eliminate fears and phobias
• Find out what they really want

So that can't be bad!

Oh and guys, did you know that some girls like to 'hear' things, some like to 'see' things and others just like to 'feel'? Now if you know 'how' your girl thinks you should either say, show or touch accordingly. Get it right and well ... but get it wrong and it'll be the kiss of 'goodbye'.

It's the same the other way round. I've discovered, with a little observation, that my boyfriend thinks auditory i.e. in words. So if I say a few right words he's putty! "Oh you're so clever/handsome/big." The book certainly hasn't been wasted on me, some of it I have put into practice - so watch out!

Yes, worth a read, lots of useful stuff providing you can wade through the jargon.

Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins
ISBN 0-671-69976-8

A SILKY BODY
I stepped out of the bath feeling completely relaxed. The warm water, fragrant oils and candle-light had eased away the remnants of quite a stressful day. I felt so much better than I had an hour ago and the big warm fluffy towel felt comforting and good on my skin as I dried myself. Life wasn't so bad after all I thought, as I looked at my reflection in the full length mirror.

And I still had the pleasure of moisturising my skin to come.

The tub of Dove Body Silk, that my mum had given me, was standing prominently on the shelf and I wondered if I should try it or not. I decided I had better as I knew my mum would be asking if I had liked it.

The white tub was quite heavy, 300 ml I noticed, and the blue print on the lid stated, 'Dove Body Silk - Complete Body Care'. I looked at the gold dove, also on the lid, and thought how very sad I had become to be aware of such things. Normally I find moisturising my body very sensual and yet here I was reading the tub and turning it upside down to look at the ingredients.

Slowly I unscrewed the lid, it took half a turn before it was free of the plastic tub. I looked inside and raised the now exposed cream to my nose to gently smell the perfume. My immediate reaction was, "Oh No! It's a Nivea clone".

Now there's nothing wrong with Nivea, my dear old Gran swears by it, but it's not well ... very glamorous.

Nevertheless nothing was going to stop me now so I plunged my fingers into the depths of the cream and pulled them out again and had a sniff. Yes, it was definitely very similar to Nivea. The white cream though, as I rubbed my fingers together, was of a much lighter texture than I remembered Nivea to be.

As I looked again in the mirror I started to rub the cream on my arms and it actually felt much nicer than anticipated and was easily absorbed by my skin. Not so bad after all. I had imagined that the cream would be all smeary and would be difficult to rub in, but I was wrong.

I took some more cream and rubbed it over my breasts and chest area. Mmmm nice, and it left my skin feeling sort of silky and smooth. I doubled checked to make sure. Yes, definitely silky but I wasn't over impressed by the fragrance. I continued to massage the cream all over my body until I felt I had done a good job.

My BoyFriend was already in bed and, as I was well moisturised, I slipped in quite easily beside him. He put his book down and we made love, or did we have sex? I'm not quite sure, probably the former as he had stopped reading this time!

Afterwards he said how lovely my skin felt and how silky it was. "Yikes!" I thought, "This Dove stuff must be good." It usually takes a few alcoholic beverages to loosen his tongue, in more ways than one. The good old English reserve is steeped in his bones, but a few drinks and he's a changed man. I reached across to make a note of this on my pad, which I keep by the bed, and he started to caress my back. "What again?" I asked. Action ... Fade ... Cut.

The next day I was at mum's house and we talked about the Dove Body Silk. It seems she bought three tubs for the price of two in Boots and that was why she had given me one to try. (I have since seen offers in various shops giving discounts, so it must be being promoted at the moment). We did a sniff test and decided that Nivea was different.

I asked her if Dad liked the Dove. "Dad?" she said, "You know your father. He doesn't go in for creams and lotions."

Now I'm pretty sure she was a little flushed and that I had caught her off guard. I giggled to myself and thought, "Like daughter, like mother!" or should it be the other way round?

Okay. It's now time for 'Jayne's Conclusions for Dove Body Silk moisturising cream:

The makers, Lever Faberge write, 'Dove's unique formulation contains rich, active moisturisers, and it absorbs fast to leave your skin so soft and smooth, from the moment you apply it, all day long. It is pleasurably silky because of it's combination of ingredients which create the special silky feel. Dove Body Silk - a cream for silky feeling skin all over your body'.

I can't disagree with the fact that it left my skin feeling silky, so much so that even BF noticed. It was easily absorbed by my skin but, personally, I prefer a liquid moisturiser. I wasn't over keen on the fragrance.

So lets give it some points, just like a proper consumer test.

•Fragrance 2/5
•Packaging 3/5
•Absorbtion 4/5
•Glamour appeal 2/5
•Moisturising effectiveness 4/5

That's a total of 16/25 on the Jayne-ometer I know it adds up to 15 but, as I got an extra 'benefit' and my mum's face was flushed, I'll add on an extra point. Judge's perogative.

It's worth giving it your own consumer test, especially if you'd like a bit more (three for the price of two I mean - of course!)

TAROT CARDS
I thought she was going to look like a witch, all warts and dressed in black but I was completely wrong. She was very pretty with long auburn hair and sparkling brown eyes. I felt at once in tune with her. Her face lit up as she smiled and said, "Hello Jayne, nice to meet you." And it was nice to meet her as well.

This then was the Lady of the Tarot that my friend had told me about and she was now going to have a look at my life. Divination as she called it.

She told me to clear my head of all thoughts and to shuffle the pack of cards face down. This she said would impregnate them with my personal magnetism. I giggled a little at the thought and she told me to be serious. So I was - just in case she also did spells - well you can't be too careful.
I kept shuffling and she said my subconsious would now be creating a rapport with the cards. No giggle from me this time! I was told to keep going until I was satisfied. I bit my tongue as I knew that otherwise I would make some cheap quip which might upset this relationship that was going on. For some reason a picture of myself as a five year old flashed through my mind. Creepy I thought.

I felt satisfied so I stopped, suppressed a smile, and placed the cards in front of her. She said she was going to do a ten card spread first. "Fine," I mumbled my faced flushed with seriousness. She started to lay out the cards from the top of the pack. The second card went on top of the first and the others singly in a pattern until ten cards had been placed on the table face up. What pretty pictures I thought in my shallow way.

She told me that each card represents part of my life. For example the first card laid is my present position, the second my immediate influence and the third my goal or destiny. I was looking forward to hearing what this card meant. And so it went on: past events (gulp, I hoped she couldn't read it all) future influences, inner emotions and so on.

She then started to interpret the cards and it was so interesting. Genuinely interesting. I was amazed at some of the things she said as they appeared to be so true. The future sounded great and I was bubbling with excitement inside but I remained cool in appearance, at least I tried to.

I couldn't help asking, "What's that one?" There was a naked woman in the picture pouring water. Well it could be good, I thought, perhaps it's me in the South of France or something. It turns out that this was no less than Venus bathing in a pool and pouring water over herself. It's a symbol of the planets and stars beyond the sun. It's a new beginning, a bath of rejuvination. "Wow!" I said. It was all I could think of.

There are seventy-eight cards in a Tarot deck. Twenty-two of them are called the Major Arcana and the other fifty six the Minor Arcana. It seems that there is much ancient symbolism mixed in with the cards, half of which I just don't understand. There are theories that their history stretches back to the ancient Egyptians but a French occultist, Eliphas Levi, seems to think that they go back much further. He reckoned the twenty two cards of the major Arcana each relate to the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet and to 22 'paths'. I shan't argue with this!

What complicates matters further is that some of the Tarot sets of cards differ. I shan't worry about this too much as I have enough trouble deciding what to have for tea.

If we look at the Major Arcana the cards have such names as: The Magician, The High Priest, The Empress, The Lovers, The Wheel of Fortune (really?), Death, The Devil, The Star and so on. These represent the spiritual and physical forces of us humans: strength, power, love, illness, death, storms and religion. I think that calls for another, "Wow!" - don't you?

The Minor Arcana are divided into four suits, similar to normal playing cards, but these are called: pentacles, cups, wands and swords. These correspond with diamonds, hearts, clubs and spades respectively. The cards relate to our status, social position or job.

To read the cards it's a matter of getting to know what each card means in a symbolic sense through meditation and also it's divinatory meaning. This is quite an undertaking but to complicate matters further each card means something different if it is laid upsidedown. For example, The Magician means originality, willpower, self confidence and other positive traits. Upsidedown and it's a bit different: insecurity, lack of imagination and ineptitude.

Before you ask, there are other ways to lay out the cards for divination. There is The Tree of Qabala, which is symbolic to Jewish mysticism, The Celtic Cross, The Horseshoe Spread, The Italian Method and some say that the best of all is the Royal Spread, but I wouldn't know about that.

So conclusions.

I think that the Tarot can be looked at as a bit of fun for light hearted fortune telling and guidance or can be something much more deep and meaningful for those that want to study the symbolism and devote time to proper reflection and study. Horses for courses and all that.

All I know is that my future is rosy and bright. Though my Lady of the Tarot said something along these lines I feel it's really all up to me.

That was all a bit serious for me wasn't it? "Wow!"

TABOO BOARD GAME
At one stage I ached so much I didn't think I could take any more - do you know the feeling? It was hysterical we were all laughing so much. I felt quite red in the face and there were tears in my eyes. To think that just a short while earlier we were all so reserved and on our best behaviour. That all changed, however, once we started playing Taboo.

It was one of those evenings: three couples sitting round a dining room table making polite converstaion, and it was all getting a little strained. The meal had been OK but afterwards it became quite boring. Sue, who's house it was, said, "Let's have a game of Taboo."

I groaned quietly to myself thinking, "Oh, no, no, no." I really didn't want to play a 'kid's game' but everyone else agreed so we split into two teams. The challenge was on: Girls versus Guys. Sue opened more bottles of wine and we started playing.

We were still a little reserved at first but within a short while all inhibitions had gone and we were having so much fun, everyone was relaxed and laughing. I think it was the word 'stiff' that started us off but I'm probably getting a bit ahead of myself. Just in case you don't know the game I'd better tell you first a little of what it is all about.

No it's not an 'adults only' game! It can be played by most ages.

The idea is that one team member, the 'Clue Giver', must try to describe a 'Guess Word' that is shown on a card, so that the other team members can guess what it is. I know this doesn't sound highly amusing but, trust me, it can be.

As an example the Guess Word might be something simple like 'apple' but also on the card are five 'Taboo Words' that mustn't be used. In the case of apple they are: Red, Fruit, Pie, Cider and Core. The Clue Giver mustn't say the Taboo Words so may say something like, "It's round, smooth and has pips in the middle" or "William Tell shot one." Get it? Simple really.

In the case of the Guess Word 'stiff', that broke the ice with us, the Taboo Word's are: Rigid, Corpse, Drink, Hard & Dead. Sue described this as, "How she liked her boyfriend to be." Still not funny? Perhaps you had to be there and have had a few glasses of wine first. But us three girls just laughed and laughed from then on over our descriptions of Guess Words such as: Belly Button, Fumble, Stockings, Nozzle, Lingerie, Pill, Bizarre and Toy (ours had batteries in).

More about the game. In the Taboo box there are:

•The Cards. Hundreds of them each showing a Guess Word and the Taboo Words.
•A plastic Card Holder. The cards are drawn one at a time from this by the Clue Giver - everyone takes it in turn.
•A Timer. This looks like an egg timer and each person has just over a minute to try and get across as many words as possible to his/her team members.
•A Hooter! The opposing team have this and squeeze it (the hooter) when the time is up or if the Clue Giver says one of the Taboo Words or cheats in any way.
•Score Pad. First team to 50 wins. There is one point for each word guessed correctly and one to the other team if you have to 'pass' or say one of the Taboo Words accidently - and this does happen.
•A Pencil. Surprisingly this is to use on the Score Pad.
•Instruction Card with the rules to help settle any inevitable arguments.

After a while the game does get very competitive, well ours did. We girls just had to win. Whichever guy was the Clue Giver we stood behind him and did everything (legal) to try and put him off his stroke. We also held the hooter close to his ear, and other parts of his anatomy, to pile on the pressure.

Of course, the guys started doing the same to us. It's hard enough to concentrate after quite a lot of wine without having three hunky guys round you and feeling peanuts dropping down your cleavage! Nevertheless, in spite of all of their ungentlemanly conduct, us girls won the first game with much singing of, "We are the Champions ..."

The second game got real 'nasty', in a funny way of course, as we decided their would be forfeits for the losers. I'm sure they must have cheated, or we may have had too much wine, but somehow the guys won which proved a little embarrassing - I won't go into details!

Since that night I've bought my own Taboo. My boyfriend and I have even played it with my mum and dad and my brother and his girlfriend. We still had lots of laughs but a little more refined!

I'd recommend this game for family gatherings, birthdays, Christmas or with a group of friends once in a while. Taboo can be as innocent or as rude as the participants will allow, but either way there should be a few smiles and a little 'coming together'.

Not all of the Guess Words are as easy as the ones I have mentioned. Try describing Plagiarism (without using copy, steal, credit, word, ideas), Eisteddfod (no Wales, bard, music, poetry, festival) or Awning (no canopy, covering, windows, door, overhang). The rules say no gestures, abbreviations, sound effects or 'rhymes with' can be used. It's can be quite interesting to see how other peoples' minds work.

Well I'm now going to remove all of my clothes and immerse myself in some warm clear liquid full of nice smelly stuff. I'm then off to a place where men and women act and do things on a raised platform. Yes, I'm having a bath before going to the theatre.

It's only Taboo if you make it so.